u know, i feel really paisei to tell people what i'm studying in university. it's terribly weird when u try to evade the topic but they still get around to askin u and u have no choice but to reply in a half-whisper "medicine", hoping that it won't evoke much of a response. but it doesn't really happen that way, u know what i mean. then u feel like u sound so arrogant. gahhh!

it's not exactly a glam job, tho it sounds so awe-inspiring. if i weren't in the system i'd probably react the same way as them too. now that i am in it, i know what really goes on behind the image of doctors conjured up by society. it's an extremely humbling job, really. u get down and dirty (not meant in a sleazy way of course) in the work, and come in contact with the most vulnerable side of people.

i've had my fair share of near break-downs due to reluctance to "manhandle" patients who are already in such discomfort. it seems almost inhumane to strip them of their dignity further by being the 4th person to perform a per-rectal examination on them. u can just tell that they're trying to be brave for you. and there are also painful moments when elderly patients just cannot control their tears and weep helplessly in front of u.

stripped away of the fancy title, good pay and respect bestowed upon u (of which teachers and nurses should also deserve the same amount!) a doctor is really nothing more than a counselor equipped with clinical skills. and i hope i'll never be reduced to one who speaks less than 3 sentences to my patients and categorize them according to illnesses.

so slap me if i ever dare to lose sight of the real purpose of this job God has so graciously blessed me with.

**

i actually traipsed thru a wet market during a horrendous thunderstorm today in my pretty slippers and miniskirt. what a feat. well done mindy.

my shopping list for bangkok is as long as the neurology chapter in Talley O'Connor! 20 bikinis for me! 10 bags! 30 pairs of earrings! 10 pairs of shoes! MUAHAHA