for some reason unknown to Mankind, the ability to converse in hokkien, cantonese and melayu wasn't listed in the contract i had to sign before entering Med school. how could they deceive us like that, when such linguistic abilites are crucial to survival in a hospital packed with ah peks and ah mas who cannot jiang hua yu.

you'd think that a high-class ah lian like me would be able to at least, speak simple hokkien but alas, i'm only proficient in the expletives (only use them on digusting lao tikos nowadays la but another story for another time).

utterly paralysed i tell you, to see an old ah ma flailing her arms in exasperation as she attempts to simplify her already simplified hokkien for us and to comprehend our weirdly-accented hokkien. and now i've engaged my mother to teach me a new hokkien phrase everyday, so hopefully i'll be able to move on to Higher Hokkien and start on basic cantonese.

wah lao eh. jin kang koh man.