warts and all
i'm on the brink of paranoia and a nervous breakdown. all because of the spreading colonies of moles (and other assorted discolourations) on my once-not-so-moley-skin.
o woe is me! such a great many these scattered dots are on my body, i reckon u could connect them with lines and there u have it, a map of the constellations. not that i haven't been plagued with such an unfortunate skin malady of course. i've always been the Moley One, much to the ignorant ridicule of silly kids ("eek! why u so many moles one??")
but in recent years, i've become freckly as well as moley. must be the 2 years of training under the relentless sun without adequate uv protection that any self-respecting female would be vigilant about. no, not me. i'm the don-give-no-heck village idiot. more light on this side of my arm please! not sunscreen for me, i wanna have a nice golden brown tan. indeed i achieved my purpose of being a semi-chaotar otah. but after my brief stint as a pseudo-professional athlete, the tan has long faded, and wat's left are the unsightly, ghastly, numerous dotties on me arms and face and watnot. gahh!
i remember being really paranoid about the flesh-eating bug as a child, after watching the news of a poor china girl who was struck with that unthinkable illness. thereafter i spent much time conscientiously inspecting my skin for new black dots that would hint of an evil bug lurking beneath my skin. then i'd pick at any new dots with a sharp object, and begin digging with sadomasochistic vigour, hoping to eradicate any bug that threatens to chow up my limbs.
then like any 5-minute obsession, i soon got tired of it and proceeded to check my hair loss (like counting evry single strand of hair i dropped, and inspecting my crown for any expanding bare patches). but i digress.
and so this morbid insanity has worn off, with mild relapses here and there. but now it's back with a vengeance.
Signs of Skin Melanoma (aka Skin Cancer)
1. reddish, angry-lookin mole that has changed colour - check
2. mole with irregular border and spreading discolouration around it - yes yes!
3. itchiness, peeling, pain - !!!
4. asymmetry - i think this one looks weird..
....
somehow i think i might be in trouble. better go see a dermatologist soon.
**
and so i'm left on my own to be "paranoid" about my health condition, with by-standers and loved ones alike jeering at my over-sensitivity and worrywart behavior.
thus i wonder, is it a taboo/wrong to be cautious and resilient in monitoring one's own health and taking the necessary precautionary steps, or is it just plain hypochondriac tendency? why do people regard the 'health-nuts' as silly people who have too much time on their hands to worry about such things. why do they think that such 'things' will never happen to them. why do they choose to obliterate the possiblities and refuse to face up to them.
it's all very baffling, indeed.
perhaps it's the fear of the scary truth. that they'd rather be not in the know cos ignorance is bliss, innit. and that the truth will subject them to debilitating treatements and render them vulnerable and imprisoned, in that sense.
well, i believe in a self-determining attitude towards oneself, mixed with a dash of optimism and courage, and coupled with Hope that my worries are uncalled for, or that early treatment will surely bid full recovery.
**
in the meantime, it's time to measure the Mole in question to see if it measures 6 mm and above, which would mean an uncontrolled proliferation of mutated, undifferentiated cells.
o woe is me! such a great many these scattered dots are on my body, i reckon u could connect them with lines and there u have it, a map of the constellations. not that i haven't been plagued with such an unfortunate skin malady of course. i've always been the Moley One, much to the ignorant ridicule of silly kids ("eek! why u so many moles one??")
but in recent years, i've become freckly as well as moley. must be the 2 years of training under the relentless sun without adequate uv protection that any self-respecting female would be vigilant about. no, not me. i'm the don-give-no-heck village idiot. more light on this side of my arm please! not sunscreen for me, i wanna have a nice golden brown tan. indeed i achieved my purpose of being a semi-chaotar otah. but after my brief stint as a pseudo-professional athlete, the tan has long faded, and wat's left are the unsightly, ghastly, numerous dotties on me arms and face and watnot. gahh!
i remember being really paranoid about the flesh-eating bug as a child, after watching the news of a poor china girl who was struck with that unthinkable illness. thereafter i spent much time conscientiously inspecting my skin for new black dots that would hint of an evil bug lurking beneath my skin. then i'd pick at any new dots with a sharp object, and begin digging with sadomasochistic vigour, hoping to eradicate any bug that threatens to chow up my limbs.
then like any 5-minute obsession, i soon got tired of it and proceeded to check my hair loss (like counting evry single strand of hair i dropped, and inspecting my crown for any expanding bare patches). but i digress.
and so this morbid insanity has worn off, with mild relapses here and there. but now it's back with a vengeance.
Signs of Skin Melanoma (aka Skin Cancer)
1. reddish, angry-lookin mole that has changed colour - check
2. mole with irregular border and spreading discolouration around it - yes yes!
3. itchiness, peeling, pain - !!!
4. asymmetry - i think this one looks weird..
....
somehow i think i might be in trouble. better go see a dermatologist soon.
**
and so i'm left on my own to be "paranoid" about my health condition, with by-standers and loved ones alike jeering at my over-sensitivity and worrywart behavior.
thus i wonder, is it a taboo/wrong to be cautious and resilient in monitoring one's own health and taking the necessary precautionary steps, or is it just plain hypochondriac tendency? why do people regard the 'health-nuts' as silly people who have too much time on their hands to worry about such things. why do they think that such 'things' will never happen to them. why do they choose to obliterate the possiblities and refuse to face up to them.
it's all very baffling, indeed.
perhaps it's the fear of the scary truth. that they'd rather be not in the know cos ignorance is bliss, innit. and that the truth will subject them to debilitating treatements and render them vulnerable and imprisoned, in that sense.
well, i believe in a self-determining attitude towards oneself, mixed with a dash of optimism and courage, and coupled with Hope that my worries are uncalled for, or that early treatment will surely bid full recovery.
**
in the meantime, it's time to measure the Mole in question to see if it measures 6 mm and above, which would mean an uncontrolled proliferation of mutated, undifferentiated cells.
<< Home