there are only about 10 people whom i really need to be in my life.

if you think about it, that's a really small social circle. and it has recently just shrunk to a miniscule size, after my sis moves out into hall (and i'll prob only see her on saturdays during service), and my unwillingness to make a deliberate effort to contact the other close friends to meet up catch up watever.

despite being a semi social recluse, i can't help but feel a twinge of loneliness and an evil voice telling me what a loser i am. having only a few close friends to hang out with, and no spectacular plans for friday nights.

what a chore it is, to shut out loneliness. loneliness is a stealthy thing. it creeps up on u when u're least prepared for it, and crumbles your self-confidence and security to nothingness in a matter of seconds.

but the good news is loneliness is not only something one must get used to, but it probably should be much treasured and perceived in a better light. afterall, nobody can be around for you forever, and you'll have to lie in a coffin all by urself in the end anyway.

so it's time to make friends with the real you. it's easy to lose yourself when in company of others, which is terrible. and i need to sit down and have a good chat with Me, for once.