sunshower

i grasp at the nothingness around me, attempting to reconcile the intangibles and the tangibles. my worldly belief system held stubbornly thruout my life, and the divine Truth. wat i should do, and wat i want to do.

the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

words are cheap and easy to dispense. yet am still unable to mean wat i say and say wat i mean. the tirade bursts forth viciously and don't stop till it runs over my loved ones in its path. till their hearts are left bleeding and broken. and i can only mourn over the pieces that i cannot pick up.

my emotions and thoughts, they refuse to be bridled. choosing to wander away like wild horses today. i wonder where they're going and when they're coming back.

the carelessness of it all is intoxicating though. perhaps, i've lost the battle for now.

i am sorry, God.

the days ahead are to be lived in the short-run. in the safety of silence and self-preservation. to sit and stare. to stop and feel. to wait for the dust to settle.

loneliness is nothing but a figment of the imagination.

**

you don't have to put yourself in my shoes and try to untangle the mess for me. because you can't. please, hold your peace. let's just leave it at this.