bizarre love triangle
we live in troubled times, of terrorism child pornography dance dance revolution, the usual lot of catastrophes. signs that spell the end of times. but wat bothers me most are the lies that we're spinning for ourselves in evry mundane daily thing we do. how we see people. the way we talk. the standards that we set for ourselves.
for example, i think that females get it the worst. i feel it the most when i watch reality shows like Next Top Model and see all these drop-dead gorgeous girls getting all insecure with their looks, personality and worth as individuals. ok, so yoanna lost 60 pounds and emerged as the winner. wow wat a cool girl. but wait a minute, she also became nothing but a bag of bones in the end and i do hope that the extra baggage of Fame and Glamour won't break her skinny frame. poor thing, having to keep up with appearances so that she can achieve her goal of gracing the catwalk for er, another 3 years? big deal. -BITCH ALERT-
i'm poisoned in my brain. in one cerebral hemisphere i'm rationalizing the fact that there are onli 8 women in the world out of a million who look like supermodels and it is normal to have some flab. i don't need to look like that to prove my worth. c'mon, i'm in med sch. rrriigghhht. then the other evil hemisphere taunts me mockingly "but u still have a fat butt. boo hoo hoo"
wat am i trying to say? well, the thing is, the world is contradicting itself by the second. now they're sayin be normal! trash that fad diet! see, even drew barrymore loves her burgers! and then they show u size 0 models clad in impossibly small clothes on female magazines, advising you on how to achieve that "ultimate spring/summer fashion look!" or that "smoky eyes you've always wanted!"
uh. but if i make my eyes any smokier i'd have slits for eyes? and erm, i don't think i can exactly fit into that tiny yellow number there.
wat's more, FHM magazine goes on to splash a bikini-clad girl with sickeningly flat abs and big boobs on its cover and there goes the catchy headlines "HOT DAMN! Sizzle up that sex life now! pages of hot babes inside!"
ooer wat do you know. not only i'm flabby jelly mindy i'm also a sexually-unattractive blimp. spell L-O-S-E-R. sob, i'll never get a husband now.
NOT.
but of course that's just only one lie. stupid shit telling people that chat hotlines enables you to hook up with many girls at once (for the socially impaired hermits), buying nike and adidas products makes you invincible, mothers can and should lose their excess post-partum weight, singapore is top in many aspects of global competition (and in the ego department too), and sylvester sim is the next jay chou (bah!). when was the last time you thought about wat you've been hearing, watching and talking about? are they the truth that you want to believe in?
so weird, the way we tell each other lies and believe in them. seriously, you've got nothing to lose if you wanna 'be different' and go against the multitudes. since someone would eventually take notice of your errant behaviour and say "wow that's way cool!" and there u have it, u're a trend-setter urself!
okay nuff with that. excuse me while i reflect on wat i've ate today and proceed to compare myself with another girl friend. "oh my gawd i ate sooo much today u wouldn't believe it! i'm turning into an elephant i tell you"
-crosses fingers that she ate much more than me-
i sure am in a ranty mood tonight.
**
sometimes i feel terribly guilty inside that i talk to my father like, once in a million years and the only time is when i ask him for money. on other days, i ignore him completely. it's so hard to try to think of somethin to say and i get so darn irritated when he asks me the same question for 5 days running, just so he could make conversation.
one day, the loneliness will kill him. and i'll be eaten up by my own unfounded rage.
i pray to surrender all these to God. i need the strength and will. and i only blame myself.
for example, i think that females get it the worst. i feel it the most when i watch reality shows like Next Top Model and see all these drop-dead gorgeous girls getting all insecure with their looks, personality and worth as individuals. ok, so yoanna lost 60 pounds and emerged as the winner. wow wat a cool girl. but wait a minute, she also became nothing but a bag of bones in the end and i do hope that the extra baggage of Fame and Glamour won't break her skinny frame. poor thing, having to keep up with appearances so that she can achieve her goal of gracing the catwalk for er, another 3 years? big deal. -BITCH ALERT-
i'm poisoned in my brain. in one cerebral hemisphere i'm rationalizing the fact that there are onli 8 women in the world out of a million who look like supermodels and it is normal to have some flab. i don't need to look like that to prove my worth. c'mon, i'm in med sch. rrriigghhht. then the other evil hemisphere taunts me mockingly "but u still have a fat butt. boo hoo hoo"
wat am i trying to say? well, the thing is, the world is contradicting itself by the second. now they're sayin be normal! trash that fad diet! see, even drew barrymore loves her burgers! and then they show u size 0 models clad in impossibly small clothes on female magazines, advising you on how to achieve that "ultimate spring/summer fashion look!" or that "smoky eyes you've always wanted!"
uh. but if i make my eyes any smokier i'd have slits for eyes? and erm, i don't think i can exactly fit into that tiny yellow number there.
wat's more, FHM magazine goes on to splash a bikini-clad girl with sickeningly flat abs and big boobs on its cover and there goes the catchy headlines "HOT DAMN! Sizzle up that sex life now! pages of hot babes inside!"
ooer wat do you know. not only i'm flabby jelly mindy i'm also a sexually-unattractive blimp. spell L-O-S-E-R. sob, i'll never get a husband now.
but of course that's just only one lie. stupid shit telling people that chat hotlines enables you to hook up with many girls at once (for the socially impaired hermits), buying nike and adidas products makes you invincible, mothers can and should lose their excess post-partum weight, singapore is top in many aspects of global competition (and in the ego department too), and sylvester sim is the next jay chou (bah!). when was the last time you thought about wat you've been hearing, watching and talking about? are they the truth that you want to believe in?
so weird, the way we tell each other lies and believe in them. seriously, you've got nothing to lose if you wanna 'be different' and go against the multitudes. since someone would eventually take notice of your errant behaviour and say "wow that's way cool!" and there u have it, u're a trend-setter urself!
okay nuff with that. excuse me while i reflect on wat i've ate today and proceed to compare myself with another girl friend. "oh my gawd i ate sooo much today u wouldn't believe it! i'm turning into an elephant i tell you"
-crosses fingers that she ate much more than me-
i sure am in a ranty mood tonight.
**
sometimes i feel terribly guilty inside that i talk to my father like, once in a million years and the only time is when i ask him for money. on other days, i ignore him completely. it's so hard to try to think of somethin to say and i get so darn irritated when he asks me the same question for 5 days running, just so he could make conversation.
one day, the loneliness will kill him. and i'll be eaten up by my own unfounded rage.
i pray to surrender all these to God. i need the strength and will. and i only blame myself.
<< Home