Thursday, September 16, 2004

u spin me right round baby right round like a record baby

it is time to grow my hair long, wear long flowy skirts, put mascara and lipgloss religiously, stick a flower in my hair and pose under the coconut tree by the beach.

-cue cheesy saxophone music-

i got carred away. maybe i shld just wait for the hair growing to begin first. COS IT'S NOT GROWING, Y'HEAR ME. MY DAMNED HAIR IS GROWING BY THE MILLIMETRES. BAH.

as u can see, i'm having a pseudo identity crisis. i'm starting to believe wat the Stupid People always tell me. that i'm actually half a guy inside.

which leads to the next question, quite inevitably.
"but why mindy? why do they say so?" you holler in unison.

my silly pets, look at the obvious, like how the Stupid People did. lemme point them out to you.

1. short spiky hair
2. pimply, foundation-free face. no rosy cheeks fer me.
3. big build. strong. scary.
4. gruff, rough, tough

tadah! all the essential aspects of a she-male. plus the additional bit that my period hasn't come yet this month, i guess it's finally happening. i am entering the last stage of my metamorphosis into a fullfledged she-male. the onli proof of my female ninny past would be the glaring gender status on my identity card. now i'd have a problem gettin across airport customs.

**

yeah, u wish.

u wish all of that would happen, didn't u, u Stupid People.

you, who take pple at face-value and indulge in Stupid banter bout how i shld opt for sex change since i'm already 'half-a-guy-anyway'. and you think u're oh-so-amusing.

you, who try to brainwash me into thinking that i'm less-than-a-girl. because i'm assertive and i 'talk so fiercely leh'. oops, i'm sorry i scared you! doh.

you, you, you. you can eat horseshit.

**

i'd be an utter retard if my entire being starts to crumble into flaky bits right now and shower upon Singapore like snow. or if i begin to whine and sob convincingly as i attempt to declare myself as a redhotbloodedwoman thankewverymuch.

nooooo.

i'd simply wait for my hair to grow long, dye it a brilliant golden brown, and whip it across your faces so you can eat my pantene-scented girlygirlgirl hair. hah! bet u thought my hair couldn't grow because of too much hair wax deposits clogging my follicles eh?

since you want Hair, i'll give you Hair!

so at the end of the day, wat makes a female female is all in the Hair. ah. now i geddit. ladies, we can chuck away the razors, hair removal creams and epilators already. let's start growing out our armpit hair, leg hair and moustaches! since the Stupid People like hair so much. we can even tie pretty red ribbons on our flowing locks.

it'd be so much fun, innit? -bats eyelashes prettily-