am feeling a lil lost. hong mei mei has gone over to the other side of the world (e.g. London) to spend christmas and new year ; whilst mom is going to batam tomorrow. i need to get to bbdc but am very unwilling to go down alone. it's times like these that i realise how lousy and dependent i am.

the Big P is comin and i can feel it. the horrid mood swings, the horrid cravings, the horrid evil brewing within the depths of me. i eat so much that my stomach can't digest fast enough and hence i burp like a monster after every meal. i scowl so much that everyone is wary and sick of my presence and hence i feel very ugly as a person. i think of so many wicked thoughts that the ever-present urge to hang on to God's word is inevitably extinguished every single time and hence my spirit is weak.

BURP.

going on a fast tomorrow onwards. and hibernation. no more going out till saturday.

and i'll go down to bbdc when mom comes back on thurs. cos i'm just stupid like that. can't even handle small things as registering and such.