funny how tired i am these days. fell asleep just like that in a busy clinic while waiting for tutorial, complete with a lil dribble and head-bobbing. must have been quite a sight.

hardly philosophical nor deeply thoughtful nowadays, tho i entertain certain emotions and opinions of a less superficial nature fleetingly and choose to bury them at an infantile stage within the recesses of my already overworked brain. i'd pen them down somewhere, but right now careless doodling and reading inane celebrity blogs are my greatest sources of relaxation. the many banalities of everyday school life consumes me to think of nothing else but the next patient to clerk, the next case to see, the next op to observe. as if the rest of the world has blurred into oblivion.

my sister's Fortune and Time magazines stare at me accusingly on the dining table. books i've bought ages ago but never had a chance nor mood to read. the news and Discovery channel programmes i didn't watch. if i dare say, the average medical student is probably severely handicapped in the aspect of general knowledge and current affairs. at least for me, my universe merely consists of the looming pharmaco CA and trying to remember which inherited gene predisposes to rheumatic arthritis.

basically, i just feel kinda ignorant and stupid. like a hermit unwilling to be exposed to other forms of "distractions", however interesting they might be. feels as if my growth as a human being has been stunted - at least in the ability to explore and think.

i'd try to find out how the whole Medisave system works for an elderly patient living alone with no income, but another time maybe. when my list of things to read up is actually getting shorter as it should.

for now, i need my nap.