sugarplum fairy
so it took a just few negative words from a senior to throw me completely off-balance and force me to reevaluate my options in life.
'just quit la. quit medicine before it's too late.'
it struck me hard cos firstly i'm kinda weak-willed and easily swayed by wat my frens say. like i chose medicine as my first option cos a close fren said 'don't waste ur results la just give it a shot' and so i did and ended up in the faculty by some weird twist of events and having survived the horrendous first year i'm into a comparatively relaxed year 2 and hence donot harbour any thoughts of manic depression and extreme escapism.
until now.
it's frustrating when u're not one of those individuals who were born with shining talents and know perfectly well that they can excel in their own niche. i'm just yet another jill of all trades mistress of none who is competent in humanities and science subjects alike but not really knowing where my passion really lies in.
moreover i've a penchant to change ambitions every week and that makes me even more confused as to wat i'd really like to pursue in the future.
well, if i eventually choose to stay on in medicine, i'd have no extra time for any other activities except for hospital, books and sleep. i'd have to work 36 hours shifts on alternate days, and 12 hour shifts for the rest of the week. i cannot take leave. i'd have a less-than-expected salary (yes doctors don't get paid very much. it is a fallacy that they do). i'd have a 3-year contract with the hospital, of which if i eventually flunk or screw up i'll have no secured job as a practising doctor.
so it's a glamorous title with a reality that's horridly unappealing. and to think i was like one of the ignorant public who thought that doctors just sit around look at patients and earn big bucks. and now that i'm in the system, i have no idea if i honestly want this thing. there are a lot of sacrifices to be made. imagine, u'd have no time at all for other interests. evry ounce of spare time u'll rather spend it in sweet slumber. that's the stuff that nightmares are made of.
i have another few more months to pray and think this thru. hopefully, my courage will not fail me in either case - whether i choose not to give up or take a leap of faith and venture out into the world of possibilities out there.
'just quit la. quit medicine before it's too late.'
it struck me hard cos firstly i'm kinda weak-willed and easily swayed by wat my frens say. like i chose medicine as my first option cos a close fren said 'don't waste ur results la just give it a shot' and so i did and ended up in the faculty by some weird twist of events and having survived the horrendous first year i'm into a comparatively relaxed year 2 and hence donot harbour any thoughts of manic depression and extreme escapism.
until now.
it's frustrating when u're not one of those individuals who were born with shining talents and know perfectly well that they can excel in their own niche. i'm just yet another jill of all trades mistress of none who is competent in humanities and science subjects alike but not really knowing where my passion really lies in.
moreover i've a penchant to change ambitions every week and that makes me even more confused as to wat i'd really like to pursue in the future.
well, if i eventually choose to stay on in medicine, i'd have no extra time for any other activities except for hospital, books and sleep. i'd have to work 36 hours shifts on alternate days, and 12 hour shifts for the rest of the week. i cannot take leave. i'd have a less-than-expected salary (yes doctors don't get paid very much. it is a fallacy that they do). i'd have a 3-year contract with the hospital, of which if i eventually flunk or screw up i'll have no secured job as a practising doctor.
so it's a glamorous title with a reality that's horridly unappealing. and to think i was like one of the ignorant public who thought that doctors just sit around look at patients and earn big bucks. and now that i'm in the system, i have no idea if i honestly want this thing. there are a lot of sacrifices to be made. imagine, u'd have no time at all for other interests. evry ounce of spare time u'll rather spend it in sweet slumber. that's the stuff that nightmares are made of.
i have another few more months to pray and think this thru. hopefully, my courage will not fail me in either case - whether i choose not to give up or take a leap of faith and venture out into the world of possibilities out there.
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