tears for fears
seems like my physical state is taking a serious beating these days. other than my ba zhang of an ankle/foot, i've been having the runs. i've never been so happy to see a toiletbowl. much love to the chap who invented the modern lavatory.
**
anyway, i've been really lazy in school, to the point that i'm actually *horrors* GUILTY. yes u heard me right. the Queen of the Missing Conscience. the one who couldn't give a damn even if the Dean himself called me on my handphone and beckoned me to a tongue lashing in his office. watever.
i mean, wat can they do to me anyway. choke slam me? cut off all my fingers until i beg for mercy? silly. afterall, am i not the one who endured a record-breaking 6 hour lecture peppered with threats of expulsion by my discipline mistress in sec 4? (another story for another time)
but that's not the point. i'm upset cos i think i've let myself down. planned to go for every lesson and do some serious catching up in year 2 (since i struggled so much in year 1), however i ended up skipping pretty much all the tutorials and practicals and pbl sessions (my pbl tutor even asked me to go just for once so that she could give me a grade). wat's wrong with me?! now i'm so unprepared for the upcoming CA cos i know nothing about histology and pots descriptions. MANIC PANIC ATTACK. i'm an idiot really.
but there's just something about school that makes me wanna retch my bile juices out. the longer i stay in it, the more restless and nauseous i get. i fidget and squirm and whine until the bell rings and i'd shoot straight out and bound home. to hell with afternoon lessons, i need my solitude! and nap!
especially so in university, when there's nothing exciting or fun in the time-table to look forward to. all i do is sit sit sit in the stupid seat listening to a boring lecture until my legs grow numb and my brain turns into mush and i fear of developing Deep Vein Thrombosis cos of the cramped space i'm stuck in.
besides, you can never imagine the immense peace that befalls upon my entire being when i walk out of the freezing lecture theatre, away from the theatrics of the Life, and into the bright sunshine of midday. the enjoyable ride home on the empty bus.
nice.
so i'm in a fix really. wat should i do? i hate it when Logic gets the better of my Whims. why can't i be the type of normal, good student who has never skipped a single lesson in her life, and would never even dream of doing so, for fear of some invisible black mark on her record (wat record?!)? why must i be a rebel without a cause?
aiya, i don't know la.
**
anyway, i've been really lazy in school, to the point that i'm actually *horrors* GUILTY. yes u heard me right. the Queen of the Missing Conscience. the one who couldn't give a damn even if the Dean himself called me on my handphone and beckoned me to a tongue lashing in his office. watever.
i mean, wat can they do to me anyway. choke slam me? cut off all my fingers until i beg for mercy? silly. afterall, am i not the one who endured a record-breaking 6 hour lecture peppered with threats of expulsion by my discipline mistress in sec 4? (another story for another time)
but that's not the point. i'm upset cos i think i've let myself down. planned to go for every lesson and do some serious catching up in year 2 (since i struggled so much in year 1), however i ended up skipping pretty much all the tutorials and practicals and pbl sessions (my pbl tutor even asked me to go just for once so that she could give me a grade). wat's wrong with me?! now i'm so unprepared for the upcoming CA cos i know nothing about histology and pots descriptions. MANIC PANIC ATTACK. i'm an idiot really.
but there's just something about school that makes me wanna retch my bile juices out. the longer i stay in it, the more restless and nauseous i get. i fidget and squirm and whine until the bell rings and i'd shoot straight out and bound home. to hell with afternoon lessons, i need my solitude! and nap!
especially so in university, when there's nothing exciting or fun in the time-table to look forward to. all i do is sit sit sit in the stupid seat listening to a boring lecture until my legs grow numb and my brain turns into mush and i fear of developing Deep Vein Thrombosis cos of the cramped space i'm stuck in.
besides, you can never imagine the immense peace that befalls upon my entire being when i walk out of the freezing lecture theatre, away from the theatrics of the Life, and into the bright sunshine of midday. the enjoyable ride home on the empty bus.
nice.
so i'm in a fix really. wat should i do? i hate it when Logic gets the better of my Whims. why can't i be the type of normal, good student who has never skipped a single lesson in her life, and would never even dream of doing so, for fear of some invisible black mark on her record (wat record?!)? why must i be a rebel without a cause?
aiya, i don't know la.
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