the Air that i Breathe

as pple get older, we're slowly but surely hardening ourselves. our minds start to fossilize and become impermeable. our souls crystallize into solid blocks of stubbornness and indifference. on the exterior, we may appear to fade and lose the vibrancy of youth. our bodies shrivel into dry wrinkled prunes of frailty. but certainly, the lines that make their tortuous ways on our skin are of an obstinate nature. not a sign of weakness. they declare to the world that we have seen and done more things than anyone of u out there. so don try to change me or tell me wat to do.

have u realised that our parents are always arguing over the same old issues? nothing new ever pops up innit. have u become weary of gettin to know new frens, having to make small talk and find out their life stories all over again? like, let's start when we were in kindergarten.. never mind. i'll just stick to the same old buddies i've known for half my life. suddenly ur body clocks sounds a silent alarm and u cease to react to novelty. newfangled rubbish, u say and sniff with contempt. the songs of yesteryears never sounded better. u could reminisce bout the same old stories during sec sch endlessly.

it's scary. u become a giant rock that doesn't budge an inch even when the world around u is evolving by the second. urging u to catch up with the chase. and funny thing is, u revel in ur inertia.

lately i've been of great fear. i fear the day when my parents pass away. when God comes to fetch them back to their places in heaven. suddenly, they've never looked older.

do u really know ur parents as individuals with dreams, secret hopes, and unique perspectives towards Life? perhaps we should bother to take time out to find that out for ourselves. i'd hate to think that after 30 odd years as a child livin off their boundless love, i never really knew who they were.

i still cry when i fear.